It is melon for starters
And salad for mains,
Fruit salad for pudding
And starvation on trains.
Hey-ho, melon for starters,
Then salad with fish
And no carbohydrates
With every dish
After melon for starters,
Grilled chicken for mains,
With no carbs and no sauces
No pudding remains.
Whoopee, melon for starters,
And steamed fish for mains
Oh joy, fresh fruit salad
To add to my pains.
Here comes Christmas dinner,
What fare’€™s fit for me?
Dry turkey’€™s a winner
Gluten and trimming free.
Or its ‘€˜’€™We are so sorry,
There’€™s nothing for you,
You are such a worry,
We don’€™t know what to do.’€™’€™
Then ‘€˜’€™Oh, never mind,
Some fruit will be fine,’€™’€™
While they stuff themselves full
Of fine food and fine wine!
Or ‘€˜’€™A little won’€™t matter,
You’€™re just making a fuss.’€
(Go on, make us feel better
And pretend you’€™re like us).
The hidden agenda,
Though not what they say
Is ‘€˜We’€™d feel much better
If you stayed away.’€™
‘€˜You’€™re a social pariah,
A nuisance, a pain,
So here’€™s melon for starters
And salad – AGAIN!’€™
Lynne Joyce 17-12-2004