She flies into each night club venue
And samples everybody’s glass,
Alerts if it contains Rohypnol
And so protects each dancing lass.
In local pubs she tests the bitter,
Guinness, ale and lager too,
Let’s the punters know if water’s
Added to their chosen brew.
In recents times more tests have been
Added to her repertoire,
She’s looking out for moonshine booze,
Cheap poison in a dodgy bar.
Wine producers just adore her,
She is known by every judge,
She helps them all with their decisions,
Giving them a gentle nudge.
She’s been known to hide the car keys
When she sees a drunken waif,
Phone the partner, call a taxi
To make sure that they get home safe.
So don’t condemn The Tipsy Fairy,
She’s more clever than you think,
Her mission is, when she’s imbibing,
To protect us when we drink.
Lynne Joyce 12.06.2017