A self satisfaction of ramblers
Is making it’s way round the lakes
Armed with walking poles, backpacks and Gortex,
And all the equipment it takes.
They tramp up and down Lakeland hillsides,
And tick off their ‘done this one’ list,
Scarfell, Scarfell Pike and Helvellyn,
Plus one or two more that I’ve missed.
Most of these ramblers are teachers
Escaping the classroom from Hell
SATS, GCSE’s and assessments,
Assemblies, playgrounds and the bell.
My biggest objection to ramblers
Is not all the kit that they lug,
Or their ticking off hilltop achievements,
It’s the fact that they’re so bloody SMUG!
© Lynne Joyce 04.09.2010 Near Coniston
Beloved Lady Bountiful,
Our patronising Patroness
Gives prizes at the Village Fête
And will not be content with less.
No dubious celebrity
Can wrest this duty from her grip,
No Gladiators muscled arm
Or bleached blonde bimbo’s pumped up lip,
Can change the Parish Council’s mind,
Convince them they should modernise,
They make sure Lady Bountiful
Keeps her grip on every prize.
Lord Bountiful is rarely seen
At fêtes or at their stately home,
Word has it he’s a ladies man
With mistresses in Nice and Rome,
They say one is Italian,
Some say there’s a black girl too,
And so he’s fully occupied
Travelling between the two,
So dearest Lady Bountiful
Must take some comfort where she can,
But giving prizes at the Fête’s
A poor replacement for a man!
© Lynne Joyce