British Benidorm Bravado

British Drunks

British numpties out on the Razz
Lack style, composture and psazz,
On weekend trips for stags and hens,
Their brash carousing never ends.

They’re loud, they’re obvious, they’re crude,
And to other nationals, rude,
They hunt in packs, boastful, crowing,
And with that, oposition’s growing.

Cloggies make their rude remarks
With spitting sounds and grumps and barks,
French people who are always sniffy,
Are definitely much more iffy.

Germans’ sunbed mass invasion
Turns Brits back to a warlike nation.,
Whist Belgian tourists in the town,
Hide until it all calms down.

But the British carry on
With their Xenophpbic union,
What is really happening here,
This bad behaviour’s caused by beer!

Lynne Joyce 17.05.2010

Benidorm Belle

Benidorm Belle
Seen in the Hotel Bali, Benidorm, 17.05.2010

You see some sights in Benidorm
But this one beats the lot,
She’s totally gargantuan
And it seems she’s lost the plot.

She wears a skimpy vest top
And shorts, size 37,
Atop her head a hat that says
That Benidorm is heaven.

Her frizzy, dizzy, dyed black hair
Sticks out from her hat,
Her tiny facial features
Are swathed in rolls of fat.

Her clumsy, graceless waddle,
Causes earthquakes on the floor,
We see her there at breakfast
Consuming more and more.

Does this woman have a mirror,
Does she not care to see
What an awful, outsized vision
She presents to you and me?

Maybe she is happy
And doesn’t give a toss?
If so, then that is her gain,
But it really is our loss!

Lynne Joyce 17.05.2010