Carlisle Wedding

Matron Of Honour

We were standing in reception
When the happy band arrived,
Conventionally attired,
Primped, coiffeured and contrived.

The Maid Of Honour led the charge,
An awesome, swaying mass,
Size 32 in chiffon,
So large no-one could pass.

I know wedding conventions
State that she must wear a dress,
And have a little posy,
But this woman looked a mess.

I swear she was the ugliest
Bridesmaid in the world,
But dressed up quite appropriately,
Face made up and hair curled.

Then there came the bride
On this, her happy day,
Slender by comparison,
But sylph-like, Hell, no way!

The costume theme was burgundy,
All star players had it on,
Looking at the ugly bridesmaid,
All the French supplies have gone!

Two smaller bridesmaids followed on
Bouncing as they came,
By their chatter I concluded
They share the happy couple’s name.

I heard a mighty thunder
Entering the room,
I think you’ve guessed what caused it,
The footsteps of the groom!

The bridegroom made the bridesmaid look
As slender as a reed,
I hope the hotel knew about
Their massive need for feed.

As I observed I visualised
Them walking down the aisle,
And I confess this vision
Made me break out in a smile.

I really, really wish them
A very special day,
But that monumental vision,
Simply will not go away!


Parents of the Bride

Parents of the Bride
Uncomfortable in Morning Suit,
Waistcoat, cravat, top hat and flower,
Brides’s father, dressed up for the big day
Prepares for his daughter’s finest hour.

Bride’s mother, pricey suit brushed clean
Of a thousand non-existant specks,
Hat repositioned endlessly,
She joins a line of nervous wrecks.

Emotionally in a turmoil,
They launch into this special day,
Mum sheds some tears of loss and grief
Whilst father gives his girl away.

A day for mad and mixed emotions,
Reflection, sadness, hope and joy,
They pray their daughter will be happy
With her chosen, golden boy.

Events in a wild whirl consume them,
The car, the Church, the hymns, the prayers,
The Bride, so beautifully presented,
They hardly recognise as theirs.

Then the thanks and formal speeches,
Some issued between gritted teeth,
Followed by food and celebrations,
And when its over, huge relief!

© Lynne Joyce September 2006

The Happy Couple

The Happy Couple
Here we have the happy couple,
Shiny bright and all aglow
Pressed and dressed, booted and suited
Super stars in their own show.

Many months of preparation
Chose the cast, designed the stage
For this real-life costume drama
With Bride and Groom, Bridesmaid and Page.

Tears and tantrums, fights and fall-outs,
Essential aspects of the play,
All part of wedding preparations,
Forgotten on the wedding day.

The oohs and ahs and “She looks lovely,”
Wipe out the strain and stress and strife,
The happy ending makes things perfect
With “I declare you man and wife.”

In-laws bury battle axes,
Bridesmaid rivals jump and squeal,
Competing for the bride’s bouquet,
Tensions melt and disputes heal.

Here we have the happy couple,
Shiny bright and all aglow
Innocent concilliators
In the wedding tension show.

© Lynne Joyce, September 2006