Behold, exaggerated poses,
In Ilkley where the snobs look down
Their noses in complete disdain
Of visitors from out of town.

See their amdramatic gestures,
Listen to their accents twee,
Watch their vying for position
Under the cloak of bonhomie.

View them munch in pricey restaurants
And drink where booze is overpriced,
Designer pubs and trendy wine bars
Where every drink is iced and sliced.

Wonder if this snooty town
Was ever just an average place,
And want to know when it developed
It’s hoity toity carapace.

Behold as snobs look down their noses
And social climbers congregate,
In Ilkley town where they aspire
To be a mini Harrogate!

Lynne Joyce 31.12.2016

Art Gallerinas

Art Gallerina

I love to watch Art Gallerinas
Parading round the gallery
Pontificating on the artworks
Posturing preposterously.

Some are wearing trendy trilbies,
Most are wearing tight black jeans,
Some are members of the smart set
With clothes that clearly show their means.

In galleries no smiles or laughter
Punctuate the murmured sound
Of Gallerinas speculating
On why that shape is square, not round.

Heaven forfend that Gallerinas
Should not be taken seriously,
For Gallerinas have an image
They must protect ferociously.

I love to watch Art Gallerinas
Parading round the gallery
Pontificating on the artworks
Then write about them mirthfully.

© Lynne Joyce 07.04.2013

Art Lecturer In Lisbon

Lisbon Art Teacher

Behold the Lisbon Art teacher,
All elegant and smart
With just enough of the avant garde
To really look the part.

Listen to his rapturous
And animated monologue
About the pretty abstract,
Twenty seven in the catalogue.

Note how, in his lectures,
Without the aid of notes,
Confident and competent,
He litters them with quotes.

See his enraptured audience
Of schoolkids pay attention,
See how well behaved they are,
No rudeness, no dissention.

But this man is in Lisbon
And the pupils Portugese.
Oh how I wish that we had
Respectful children such as these.

© Lynne Joyce 16.08.2011