Shopping Centre Lament

Every time that I meander
Round shopping centres seeking lunch
They’re serving Carrot and Coriander
Soup, a dish that lacks in punch.

When did Carrot and Coriander
Soup become so fashionable?
Why does it appear on every menu,
It’s so bloody predictable?

Whatever happened to Cream of Mushroom,
Minestrone and Scotch Broth?
When did Carrot and Coriander
Oust them and incur my wrath?

Cream of Chicken tastes of Chicken,
Mulligatawny tastes of spice,
Carrot and Coriander tastes of nothing,
It’s textureless and isn’t nice.

I guess that for the caterers
Cheap and easy wins the day,
So with very little effort,
Lots of profit comes their way.

The fashion for Carrot and Coriander
Is boring and lamentable
So caterers, serve something else
That’s tasty and delectable.

Lynne Joyce 25.01.2017

Cedar Cladding

Cedar Cladding

Verse written while I was on Keighley Planning Panel and worked in tandem with Cllr Elaine Byrom to ban the wretched stuff.

There are certain things that press the wrong buttons
In Planning,
And one of the very worst of those things is
Cedar cladding,
It is OK on plans and looks very nice in an
Architect’s drawing,
But in reality, on buildings it very soon
Starts fading,
Loses colour, turns grey & shabby and
Looks boring,
Dirty & dreary, it ruins the look of the
Entire building,
So Elaine Byron and I have maintained a campaign to ban
Cedar cladding,
And my parting message to Elaine on this matter is
Keep fighting!

Lynne Joyce, 18-04-2007.