The Apologist

This woman’s an apologist,
She sports a feeble smile,
She simpers round the caravan site
Stooping all the while.

Her bully husband orders her
To serve his every whim,
And so she spends her holiday
Running after him.

I wish that I could teach her
Some assertiveness
So that she could stand up tall,
Not be a cringing mess.

Then I’d like to witness her
Put the bully down,
Rub his face in the washing up
Then head off into town.

Oh how I’d like to help her
To find a nice Toy Boy
Who’d turn around her gloomy life
And bring much needed joy.

But sadly this apologist
With her stoop and feeble smile
Will cringe and stumble through her life
Being bullied all the while.

© Lynne Joyce

Caravan Site Conversations

Caravan Site Conversations
Think of a very dull subject,
Then make it extra boring,
Add some tedium on top
And a little touch of snoring,
And there you have a typical
Caravan site conversation,
For the average caravanner
Could be boring for the nation.

Caravan enthusiasts
Will talk of this and that,
And never knowing when to stop
They carry on their chat
And dribble on and on about
Inconsequential stuff,
Unable to determine
When the listener’s had enough.

They chatter about caravans
Competing all the while,
What model’s best and priciest,
The décor and the style,
Their awnings and their microwaves,
The merit of their pegs,
Their children and their grandchildren,
Their troubles with their legs!

They talk about the sights they’ve seen,
Their 4×4’s, their dogs,
The heating that they’ve got at home,
The wood burner, the logs,
On and on they rattle on
About their boring trivia,
But I confess I love it as
It sorts out my insomnia!

© Lynne Joyce