Inspired by our long weekend in Newcastle.
A Geordie lass’s make up
Is at least two inches thick.
It goes on with a paint gun
And comes off with a pick.
In my travels around England
I never, ever saw
Women like these Geordie girls
Who use cosmetics more.
They start with thick foundation
To even out their skin,
Add powder then some blusher
Carefully blended in.
Then, with laser-like precision
Their eyebrows are defined,
Next, ever so precisely,
Each eyelid is eyelined.
Eye shadow in rich colours
Is carefully applied,
Next comes their mascara
‘Til they’re Dusty Springfield eyed.
Pencil perfect lipline
Outlines where lipstick goes
Nail polish is next thing
To adorn their hands and toes.
I swear these painted beauties
Must take an hour or more
To put on their cosmetics
Without a single flaw.
My own style of make up
Is by comparison restrained,
But I am not a Geordie,
So I’m cosmetically untrained!
Lynne Joyce 30.08.2015