I’ve got a self-appointed satnav who is sometimes in my car,
He tells me where I’ve been and where to go and where we are,
He tells me when I’m speeding and might get caught in a trap,
But I’m a wrinkly racer with a radar warning Ap
He speaks to me as if I still have L plates on my car
And warns me when my steering is too little or too far,
He’s a self appointed expert in all things motorised
And if I don’t do it his way, I get criticised.
He cleans the house but hardly ever cooks to keep me fed,
But offers me advice on all my cooking skills instead.
To be fair he does the laundry, a job I’ve abdicated,
And he’s a dab hand with the Hoover, for that’s a job I hated.
So what do we do with human satnavs that we can’t turn off?
Well I do the verbal version of an armed Kalashnikov!
20.09.2012