Size 22 in micro shorts
I just don’t want to see
But gigantic fashion victims
Keep inflicting this on me!
Huge porkers wearing leggings
Who wobble as they strut
Surely can’t believe they’re sexy
With their undulating butt.
What happened to discretion,
Have they no sense of fair play
That might lead them to be decent
And hide their flab away?
But no, ginormous arses
Are all clad in Lycra now,
Just like circus elephants,
They show their flab and bow!
If I had my way I’d lock them
In a health farm until they
Shed their weight by only eating
Fifty calories a day.
And I’d make the manufacturers
Take responsibility
By only selling shorts and leggings
To sylphs under twenty three.
To anybody older
Such items would be banned,
And fashion victim porkers,
Well, I’d take them all in hand.
I’d surround them all in mirrors
And make them face the fact
That we shouldn’t be inflicted
With their obese circus act.
But if I could really do this,
Maybe life would get much worse,
For I’d run out of material
To inspire my comic verse!
Lynne Joyce 15.01.2012