It’s casual Calpe and arty Altea,
So that’s how to dress to fit in when you’re there,
Cut offs in Calpe, cheescloth in Altea
With cartloads of chunky junk jewels to wear.
In Altea you you put on a large floppy hat
And gigantic Raybans so you look like a prat
Then you pose and you posture in every art shop,
And pretend you’ve the money to shop ‘til you drop.
And if you decide to be Benidorm bound
You’ll see lots of Union flag T shirts around,
You’ll hear the wearers before you see
Them lurching towards you, uproariously.
In Benidorm wear stuff that’s gaudy and loud
So that you fit in with the touristy crowd,
But if Alicante is where you should venture,
Dressing for there is quite an adventure.
Alicante has all styles from casual to smart
So dressing correctly is quite an art,
But I have worked out a way you can’t lose,
Smart casual stuff worn with elegant shoes!
Valencia demands you wear businesslike dress
For you just cannot look like a casual mess,
But when in the City of Science and Art
T shirt and jeans have you looking the part.
When in Albir it’s hard to work out
What their local fashion’s about,
Then you see all the expatriate Dutch
Wearing their Amsterdam fashion and such.
If you’re visiting Alcalali
The dress style is perfect Thames valley
In a style that we all used to know
Thirty or more years ago.
Guadalest is where all tourists visit
So it isn’t so hard to guess, is it,
That anything goes, smart or rash
As long as you have plenty cash.
So the right clothes for places you go
Is something you really should know.
But working it out is a toughie,
So I’ll dress Calpe style and be scruffy!
Lynne Joyce 03.11.2014