Matron Of HonourMatron Of Honour

We were standing in reception
When the happy band arrived,
Conventionally attired,
Primped, coiffeured and contrived.

The Maid Of Honour led the charge,
An awesome, swaying mass,
Size 32 in chiffon,
So large no-one could pass.

I know wedding conventions
State that she must wear a dress,
And have a little posy,
But this woman looked a mess.

I swear she was the ugliest
Bridesmaid in the world,
But dressed up quite appropriately,
Face made up and hair curled.

Then there came the bride
On this, her happy day,
Slender by comparison,
But sylph-like, Hell, no way!

The costume theme was burgundy,
All star players had it on,
Looking at the ugly bridesmaid,
All the French supplies have gone!

Two smaller bridesmaids followed on
Bouncing as they came,
By their chatter I concluded
They share the happy couple’s name.

I heard a mighty thunder
Entering the room,
I think you’ve guessed what caused it,
The footsteps of the groom!

The bridegroom made the bridesmaid look
As slender as a reed,
I hope the hotel knew about
Their massive need for feed.

As I observed I visualised
Them walking down the aisle,
And I confess this vision
Made me break out in a smile.

I really, really wish them
A very special day,
But that monumental vision,
Simply will not go away!