Rail Using Weirdos

Girl At Doncaster StationGirl At Doncaster Station

When travelling on railways
No matter where you are
You’ll find wacky characters
As in the Star Wars bar.

Every freak of nature,
The strange and frankly weird
Hangs around the platforms
Until trains have disappeared.

Wherever are they going?
Why are they on the move?
Are they the mobile homeless?
Do they have a point to prove?

An ancient C.N.D. guy,
With straggly greying hair,
Hasn’t really moved on
Since the Lennon/Ono affair.

A teen squeezed into Lycra
And denim micro shorts
Doesn’t let obesity
Constrain the style she sports.

A high vis jacketed worker
Long-haired with a sour expression
Only works for the railway
When not in a Rock Music session.

An elderly lady in lilac
Wearing cream, old-lady shoes
Shoves a young man sideways
So when it comes to a seat, she can choose.

Squawking, mawkish schoolkids
Fill the otherwise quiet train
With noisy, empty nonsense,
They’re an egocentric pain!

A sulky, youthful airhead
Who should really have a job
Practices aggression,
A self-styled, full-time yob.

An antisocial show-off
As we pass by Armley nick
Shouts that he’s been in there,
And proves to us all that he’s thick.

Expensively clad wrinklies
Are off to hike the moors,
They talk about it loudly,
Sanctimonious bores!

Young black guy with dreadlocks
Struts brashly up and down
Trying to prove that he is
The coolest dude in town.

Where are the normal people,
The average and mundane?
Its clear they didn’t choose to
Travel today by train.